I just want to be "Facebook Friends"

You may not have the guts to talk to the girl you fancy at the office, the guy you met last week at a mixer or any number of acquaintance you collected. However you're connected with them through social media, is this connection valuable? The same social anxiety that kept us from calling these people in the past, keeps us from making use of new social technology now. In the world of social media we are constantly reminded of their existence and in turn, missed connection.


It seems that the discussion over facebook, its ubiquitousness and how it -- and other social networks -- have changed the social structure of a generation. Stephen Marce of the Atlantic asks the question “is facebook making us lonely?” The query goes against the primary focus of  social networks in general, which is connecting individuals . By connecting people, the dream is that we will never need to be lonesome again because a “friend / follower” is only keystrokes away. Human interaction is supposed to be the simplest thing in the world. 

We have access to a growing database of things people like, want, consume and create. It's unclear whether this information is simply creating a false hope or longing for meaningful relationships, rather than creating or maintaining them.  

Modern society has acquired a powerful form of communication. One that releases troves of information in an attempt to get to know each other more efficiently. Its use is easily misunderstood and etiquette is fragmented by definition. 

Social networks have put the power of mass communication into the hands of individuals that may not know how to wield its power. Many use language and behaviours that should be used for personal interactions rather than mass messaging such as the facebook news feed or twitter. It is as though the average social networker is behind a one way curtain shouting at an audience they can not see but who can view them ever so clearly.

This sense of disillusionment about the audience that individuals are talking too may make them feel as though their words bear little meaning. Lost in a sea of other blurbs, hyperlinks and shouts. For those who attempting to connect in meaningful ways are doings so with other users that consume more than they connect. 

There is a new culture of communication that has emerged which has changed the entire business of getting to know people. This especially rings true in the most delicate social structures of our extravehicular relationships. These volatile, yet potentially valuable connections with those outside of our immediate circle of confidants have become the most difficult to manage. There is a strange etiquette that varies between every individual that is essentially undefinable and increasingly harder to read. 

One facet that has become nearly obsolete, in the world of contact information swapping, is the phone number. Now it’s the full name, or whatever their handle is on facebook. This is the most casual form of communication. Yet the Facebook connection is much more revealing yet lacks directness. 

Numerous times the facebook friend request to a newly met interest has come in less than three minutes of introduction. This hyper active form of communication does create interesting dynamics. I meet host of new people or connect with acquaintances nearly everyday. I find that I am much more likely to talk  with them in greater length the next time I see them if I have some sort social media connection with them. Especially if an online correspondence has been established. 

Because let’s face it folks, it’s hard to connect with someone you barely know on such a personal level as a phone call or a text message. It’s much easier, albeit less personal to comment on facebook, twitter, instagram or some other social network. 

Yet these new relationships we collect may be leaving us with more longing, than with a group of people we can expect to share actual time with. The problem is not necessarily with the social networks but with the fumbling in the dark of its use that is creating social problems rather than creating better relationships.

What I have learned

In a three short months my carrer as an undergraduate will be over. Its been a long time folks. I have been going to school for six years. I went to art school for a short time, went part time for a year or so, then for the last four years I have been going full time. It's been a long ride and it is really strange thinking about how it is almost over.

I also recently turned 25 years old which I feel is a major turning point. I'm no longer in my early twenties and soon I will be in my late twenties. The things I have learned, both in the classroom and out, have made me this person that I am today. Like other's in my age range the time for figuring out who we are or what we are supposed to do is over. We are the people we are and at this point there is no turning back. It's time to move forward and stop wondering what there is to do and just do it. 

We may work different jobs than we envisioned at the beginning of our college carrer. Move places we never imagined being. Meet people we previously would not have found interesting. Doing things we never thought possible. Like it or not we are who we are, and that's it, it's time to embrace the people that we have become. 

There are some few things that I have learned that have shaped the way I do things, approach certain situations and solve various problems. 

1. Always do your background research - from doing your homework, to approaching an interview and planing your next trip. Nothing is as easy as you think and not matter how prepared you are there will be barriers that need to be broken down. Knowing what theres barriers are and where they will be can make them easier to overcome. 
2. Talk to everyone - Talk to that crazy old guy, the person across from you at the restaurant, anyone you ever meet in an elevator, someone sitting alone at the bar, the girl with blue hair, the guy in the really nice suit. Not forever but give people a short period to figure out if you like them or not. You may find out they are way more interesting than you first thought. 
3. Hang around places where you'll find people that interest you - be it a bar, a coffee shop or a record store figure out where the people you want to talk to are and go there so much that everyone knows you by name. Sooner or later your going to be friends with a handfull of these people. Go back to step two. 
4. Don't worry about it so much - In the end whatever is bothering you will not matter in three weeks. If there is something you can do about it, make that happen. If not, move on. 
5. Never be afraid to go out and do things alone - Some of my greatest adventures have been solo. Even when I go on vacation with friends at some point or another I break off from the group and do my own thing. Steps two and three are essental. 
6. Take risks - Anyone who doesn't is boring as hell. Over-thinking is quite possibly the worst thing you can do to yourself. Sometimes, good or bad, you need to just let it happen. I promise it might not always be the best experience but it sure will be an interesting one. 

Albums for spring.

On to lighter things, I don't usually do album reviews because, well I don't think I am very good at them. I always end up feeling like what I wrote does not really mean anything or don't represent the music the way I would like. However I have been listening to a few new LPs that I feel deserve some limelight. So hopefully this makes some sense. 

SEES THE LIGHT - Le Sera


This is Katy Goodman from the Vivan Girls sophomore album and it is one of the best thing I have heard all year. It has a little bit of everything. It starts out with "Love that's gone" a wearily dreamy song that is one of the best openings of an album I have heard in a while. It's Really nice to wake up too. 

The next four tracks have much more of a driving beat and fuzzy guitars, perfect for staring into the sun. "Break My Hear" starts a trio of much more upbeat songs that I feel represent the better half of the album. Goodman's vocal talents are well illustrated in the chorus plus the song has great pace.

From there the album goes back to the whimsical nature of slowed down LA garage pop with "It's over now" and does not really falter from it for the rest of the album. If your into any the vivian girls, best coast, or are just looking for something new to put on your way to the beach this is your best this spring.

A SLEEP AND A FORGETTING - Islands


The fourth album by the remaing members of The unicorns sounds a lot more grown up than they did in their last 3 albums. This is understandable seeing how Nick Thorburn has just gone through a divorce. The album is not all drowning and self pity but does embody the kind of melancholy that is remarkably uplifting and critical of its own dispar. 


All the songs on the album are masterfully composed and full of depth. If you're into piano pop this album will be a good choice for you. The melodies that Thorburn pulls out of the white and black keys mix perfectly with all the other aspects of the band and produce a sound that is unmistakable yet familiar. 

HAPPY TO SEE YOU- Miike Snow


In their sophomore album the Swedish electro pop trio comprised of Chris Karlsson, Pontus Winnberg, and Andrew Wyatt known as Miike Snow does not bring as many punches as their self titled debut album but still stands on its own feet well.


This is another one that embodies spring yet in a totally different way than the blaring guitars of the surf rock/pop that have become synonymous with the season. It is fun and endearing but does not blast you with a water gun. It's simply not that hot yet. 


The song that stands out the most is "paddling out". It's by no means a bannger or anything but has enough power to get you moving around. I have the deluxe edition which is defiantly worth getting because of the four remixes that come with it that make up for any lack of blasting beats. 


 The best thing about this album is the videos. Check them out.